Day One- The Beginning- When the illness began

I was brought up in a Christian home and taught to believe in a God that loves us unconditionally. Although that I knew this I no recollection that I was sexually abused until some years after I lost my dad at an early age. I have been depressed most of my adolescent life. I never knew what depression really was because I felt unhappy ALL of the time and didn't know why. After my dad died something inside of me died and the remembrance of my sexual abuse became real and that is when everything went downhill. At 15 I was diagnosed with being clinically depressed and having a chemical imbalance. I had no idea what "clinically depressed" meant. I was told that I had a low level of "serotonin". I tried to commit suicide when I was 19 years old because I had enough of being lectured by my mother and feeling that no one loved me. My mother made no real attempts to pull me out of my self loathing so the depression grew to extraordinary lengths.I had no idea how greatly this disease would affect my future.